God is Good, God is Faithful

 I  have one more request as I close out the blog...for those who pray, please simply write the name Gary on your list.  If you have followed the blog you know who he is...praise God that he has emailed me since our return to the USA and that has allowed for Nicole and I to begin sharing the gospel with him.

Before I completely stopped the blog I wanted to thank everyone one more time for the prayers and encouragement.  God is good and God is faithful.

Our reunion on Friday night was fantastic.  The reaction of the boys, the response of Bo, and the love that was shared will truly go down as one of the great earthly moments of my life.  My spirit was so full and I could not hardly contain the goodness of God...my soul sung "How Great Thou Art."  I have attached a few pictures of Bo and the boys. They both beg to feed her, to hold her, and to play with her. They even follow me when I change her diaper and help throw away the "remains."  Neither boy can totally focus on anything if she is in the room.  When we play games and Bo sits in my lap Gunner comes over to hug on us or to kiss her when he completes his turn.  Jackson stared at Bo tonight while we were watching the AFC Championship game. God is good and God is faithful and can use these events to change so many...

This closes one chapter of this story, but I wait with great anticipation to see this story continue.  I am amazed by how Bo changed Nicole and I (not that Nicole needed much changing) and I see her little life changing Jackson and Gunner as well.  They are learning more about life and God's love through this than through any amount of talking that Nicole and I could have done through their lifetime. As a man, husband, and father this does my soul well.   Thank you God for being faithful and thank you God for being good to us.

Again, if you are considering adoption at all, please allow God to work through you to change lives....

God Takes Care of the Details

Sitting in the Chicago Airport waiting for the last leg of the journey....a 10:15 flight to Nashville.  After traveling since 3:45 yesterday afternoon it is abundantly clear to Nicole and I that your prayers have been answered.  Every step of the way, God has taken care of all the details.  As I look back to the events of the last 28 hours it amazes me how even our smallest needs were met...from the bulkhead seating on the 12 and 1/2 hour flight and the bassinet that was waiting for us in the overhead to the man who allowed me to use his credit card (after I paid him the equivalent in American cash) in China because they would not take an American credit card to the very small acts of kindness the big guy whose son plays football at Iowa offered to us in Shanghai and the little American woman who was traveling home from a mission trip in India who offered encouragement and the man who offered us space in his overhead compartment because we ran out of room in ours.  We have run into more special people during the last 30 hours than I can remember or could write here.  Time and time again, whether by a specific act of an individual or by me stumbling across information that I needed to know but did not, God has made Himself known and it was clear that He was preparing a path for us.

I've been skeptical in the past, but I've been convinced during the last two weeks.....God cares about the details.

Good-Bye to China

I just put Bo down for the night.  It will be her last night of sleep in China, at least for a long time.  I have to tell you that there are some mixed emotions.  China has been a great place and our experience here, while exhausting and frustrating at times, has been fantastic. As I put it more than a week ago, we had the time of our lives. It will be nice to go somewhere and be able to communicate more easily. I definitely have developed a new compassion for those who come to our country and don't know the language. 

In about 35 hours Bo will be a US citizen and in about 40 hours she will meet her brothers and one set of her grandparents.  What a fantastic couple of days we have ahead of us.

I want to thank everyone for the encouraging emails, responses to the blog, and the Google chats.  I don't know how we would have made it without your prayers and communication.  We are very, very happy.  We will see you soon.

To the Lady Cats, compete hard tonight and tomorrow night and two more big wins.  I will be on a plane during your games, but will be praying earnestly and cheering you on.  I will probably say, too many times, "C'mon girls"

To our boys who we have missed a great deal, we'll be home soon. 

Before I shut my computer down for the last time in China (unless I can't sleep tonight) I have one request, please pray us home.

A PS to the Letter

There have been a few questions regarding our arrival on Friday night.  Nicole, Bo, and I are arriving very late after 32 hours of travel. We are planning for my father to be the only person to meet us at the airport. Please let me explain...

We believe it important that our boys be the first to meet Bo. Jackson and Gunner have been waiting anxiously for five years with Nicole and me and these two weeks have been difficult for them as well. We want Friday night to be a time for the boys and Samantha to begin the bonding process.  They are not going to meet us at the airport, so we will be in a hurry to get home so that they can meet her and have some private play time with her.  We thank you for your understanding and your patience.

A Request for Your Understanding

First, Nicole and I want to thank everyone who has helped to make this happen.  Too many to name, but the support prior to our leaving, the comments that have been left on the blog,  the very kind and supportive emails, and, most importantly, the prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf have allowed us to make it this far in the journey can never be repaid.  We are almost done after more than 5 years of preparation and waiting for this time.  It is also special that so many of you want to continue supporting us in this journey once we arrive home. I know many are excited to meet Bo, and Nicole and I cannot wait for her to get to know her family and extended family that has been so supportive.  We particularly want to thank Bo's brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, niece, and nephews along with our loving DCA family.  With all that being said, Nicole and I have drafted the following letter.  It is not easy to be patient, but we ask for your help.  This letter has been written with the help of Leigh Ann Harrington of the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.

Two nights ago an older, distinguished Chinese gentleman entered the hotel elevator with us.  He spoke very good English and appeared to be an important businessman.  In a baritone voice he inquired about Bo's age.  Then he said something which caught me off guard..."It is a very nice thing that you are doing for her.  You are changing her life."  The only response that came out of my mouth was, "Thank you, but she has changed our lives."  With that being said, we simply ask that you are patient with us.  We want every special person in our life to help change the life of Bo forever; but also maybe to have your life changed a little by this wonderful little baby girl....maybe she will even encourage some of you to move forward with adoption!!!!

Dear Family and Friends,

As we set to come home from the very exciting events of the last few weeks, we have been thinking a lot about the people around us and how much our lives are changing.  We are so very blessed by our gracious God to have such loving and involved family and friends. We sincerely appreciate all the support and excitement that you have shown us during this journey.  We are thrilled more than you could know to bring this sweet baby home.  We've read, researched, and asked a lot of other adoptive parents about this process and feel prepared to help our baby become a well-adapted member of our family.

We know that every child is different but we also understand that there are many possible things that have impacted Bo's beliefs and behavior since her little life began last March. These include how much nurturing she received, if there was abuse or neglect (which we do not believe occurred), the amount and quality of food received, illnesses, the quality of care, and Bo's unique temperament and personality. The results of these things can vary and can include a sense of grief from being separated from the only home she has ever known.  We want her to feel attached to her new home (family) as quickly as possible. Adoption, while a wonderful thing, is a traumatic and scary event for any child, whether they are newborn or much older. Even babies will feel grief and sadness at an event like this.  In order to help Bo feel safe and learn that we are her parents, we are creating the type of environment that will help promote security and stability during this stressful time.

Here are some things that we are doing for our child based on our findings. We'll be living a very quiet life with limited trips out of the house and few visitors in for awhile. Experts tell us that when children are first adopted, they may be overwhelmed, scared, and nervous. By keeping our lives boring at first, we'll be helping Bo feel safe. We still want visitors coming to visit with us. We will just have to limit it a little so it is not overwhelming. We certainly want family around us as well, but we cannot pass Bo around for everyone to hold and we have to be mindful of overloading her with new things and people. We respectfully request a quiet return to Nashville on Friday night.  It will be a very long  journey for us. There are also some events that both Nicole and I want to attend, with Bo.  If you see us, we won't mind being greeted.  But please help us keep Bo from feeling overwhelmed.

We know that many are excited to hold, hug, and spoil Bo, but it has been recommended to us by multiple sources that we be the only ones to do that at first.  It improves the chances for a strong attachment to her parents. Until we feel Bo has attached and clearly knows we are her parents, we will need to feed, change, and take care of her. I know this will disappoint some of you, but there will be more chances in the near future.

As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is NOT a healthy thing. It is called "indiscriminate affection" and can mean that an adopted baby has not really attached to anyone. It would not be a good sign that our baby has attached to us if during her first months home she will let just anyone take her and hold her without searching for her mom or dad.

There will be a lot for Bo to take in over the next several days...many hours in an airports/airplanes, a new house, new brothers, a new time zone.  So we do appreciate your understanding as we set out to do what is best for Bo.  We have absolute faith that everything will go well.

Having said that, we believe that God is working a miracle among our three lives right now.  We believe that this is a very natural feeling for the three of us and firmly believe that God will continue to work miracles as she is introduced to her brothers, grandparents, extended family, and new friends. We trust that God has intervened in little Samantha Bo's life and worked to intertwine her spirit with ours and know that He will continue to do the same.  Therefore, we will seek His wisdom and understanding when introducing Bo to new people and situations. We will not follow steadfast rules, rather His lead.

Sincerely,

Bret and Nicole

Two Days, An Adoption Tradition

Missed writing yesterday.  Got back to the hotel and was just ready to sleep.

However, there was a good deal of excitement for me yesterday. After doing a little shopping, buying future presents for Bo and a current present for mommy, we had our appointment with the US Consulate.  Every immigrant must swear an oath but since Bo can't, we had to in her place.  There were 31 other families with adopted boys and girls of all ages who took the oath at the same time.  It was really a joyous event.  We learned that Bo would officially become a citizen when we land in Chicago and make our way through Immigration and Naturalization. At the moment that the agent stamps Bo's passport, she will officially become a United States citizen.  That will be particularly exciting for me.

For dinner we took a river cruise.  I have added a few pictures.  The bridges and buildings were all lit up.  The food was not so good, so I stuck with the reliable noodles and rice.  Some of the food was a little scary...but no eyeballs or heads.  There was also a Chinese magician who was pretty entertaining.  The best part for me was to watch all of the Chinese people on the boat look with curiosity, laugh and talk amongst themselves.  It was a good time, but I was ready to get back to the hotel for rest.

Today was a free day.  Before the families went their ways to enjoy the day we all gathered in the hotel lobby for a traditional picture.  For years adoptive parents have dressed their babies in traditional Chinese dresses or outfits and had a group picture.  I'm not much for picture taking, but this was pretty cute.  I have included some photos of that event.  None of the babies cried and most of them looked at each other. Of course Bo was the bully putting her hands in the face of another baby and grabbing her ear...hopefully she won't be a mean girl. Bo was very pretty in her traditional blue outfit...Nicole thinks she'll frame it and put it in her room.  As I have through most of this trip, I just say OK.

We went back to Shamian Island where I had to buy a large piece of luggage so we can get everything home.  We had heard we could purchase luggage cheaply and it was a plan all along. Another traditional baby outfit, a traditional Chinese game for the family, and a few other items and it was time to go.  Hailing a cab for this trip was much easier than the last time we tried.

Gary update...last time I wrote I told you about Gary and his girlfriend.  He and I spoke again and he told me that he was going to ask her to marry him anyway.  He was set to go across the street to buy her a ring.  I encouraged him and then tried to tell him a story of my life...how I had thought I was going to marry a previous girlfriend but that didn't work out and then I met Nicole and it was even better..you know, kind of like the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers."  I must have been confusing with my English because he thought that I said that I had a wife and a girlfriend....so I had to redo that and I'm still not sure.  I warned  Nicole that Gary might think I have a girlfriend too.  She laughed and rolled her eyes.  Nicole went to exercise and spoke with Gary as well.  She was all set to pray with him when she had finished, but he got off work and she couldn't find him.  I am always impressed with my wife's spiritual boldness. 

We are off to dinner here in the hotel.  Hopefully an uneventful, plain meal.

Nicole and I will be posting a letter to you all soon.  Please consider carefully and ask if you have any questions.

God, please get us home!

Gary, Flowers, and an Adventure

I introduced Gary the other night.  He is a worker in the Fitness Center here at the hotel. I speak with him every time I work out, but before tonight we have only spoken for a total of 5 minutes.  His English is good and he is very charismatic.  He is 25 and graduated from the University of Guangzhou in 2008 with a degree in Physical Education.  I think this guy would make a great teacher.  After my run tonight I spoke with him again and asked him how he was...he told me not so good and his eyes kind of welled up. He then shared this story...he has a girlfriend for five years and he asked her to marry him last night.  Her mother will not let her daughter marry Gary...not because Gary is a bad guy or because Gary doesn't love her enough.  The reason, Gary does not have a house.  He works hard, makes a living, but is not rich.  He lives 40 minutes (by bus) from the hotel and rents a room there because it is cheaper.  Not only did the mother deny his request, but she also introduced her daughter to another man.  Talk about salt in the wound.  I was moved with the passion that this young man had for his girlfriend and how he would bear his soul to someone he did not know very well.  But it seemed easy to talk with him.  I gave him some of my famous 10 cent advise, that is the value including the Chinese exchange rate, and when I opened my mouth to tell him I would pray for him I caught myself...and said as compassionately as I could, which isn't much for those who know me, that I would be thinking of him a lot....he was so thankful for the talk...he shook my hand twice and followed me out of the room to say thank you again. This is turning into a bit of a struggle for me...but getting Bo and Nicole home is the priority right now!

Someone refresh my memory about teething....a lot of drool, some crankiness (particularly at bed time), runny nose, some runny poo...can I get a diagnosis?

We enjoyed a beautiful day today.  Nicole was feeling better, not great.  It was also a bit adventurous.  We started the morning at 10 and part of the group headed into the subway system to go to the new Guangzhou arena, the Flower Plaza Park, and the largest shopping mall in China.  With Bo attached to me with the little carrying thing, we headed out.  The arena and park were very nice...all built and designed for the Opening and Closing ceremonies for the 2010 Asian Special Olympics.  I have included some pictures (the picture of all the people was a group that came and ooohhed and aaaahhed over the babies after we took a group picture) of the flower park and the arena and huge television tower behind the arena.  It was very neat and peaceful  We enjoyed a sunny day that got to about 60.

Following our walk around the park we went to a very large shopping mall.  There we a lot of stores, very pricey.  We found a department store with some reasonably priced baby clothes and bought a couple of outfits....Jackson and Gunner, I hate to tell you this, but we are bringing more pink home....something we are all going to have to get used to.  The group split up at the mall and we told the guide that we would just get a taxi home from the mall.  How hard could that be..he said that all we had to do was raise our hand? So, we finished shopping a little late and were in a hurry to get back so that we could meet the laundry guy who was coming to our room. We headed outside, walked down the street a bit, and began to start hailing cabs....and they just kept passing by.  Mostly, they were full but a couple passed by and I'm not sure why.  So you can imagine the two crazy Americans with a Chinese baby attached out in the street trying to wave down cabs...and failing every time.  It was like fishing...if we didn't get a cab after a minute or so we'd move to another spot.

After failing 20+ times to hail a cab we decided to head back to the subway station to try our luck there.  I was a bit unsure, but had to play it like I knew exactly what to do for Nicole.  Now, I know she is going to be reading this confession and I will not tell her, rather I will let her read it whenever she checks her email and see how she responds.  Anyway, I walked right up to the machined where you buy the tokens and bravely stated, "That's where we need to go right there.  This should be easy. All we have to do is transfer one time." Honestly, at that point, I had no idea how I was going to know how to get on the train that was going the direction we wanted...I knew we needed the Yellow Line and that we needed to end up at Taojin Station, but at that moment I had a 50-50 shot of choosing the correct direction....in my mind the worst thing that could happen was we would go the wrong way, eventually figure it out, and then head back on the other train. To make matters trickier, the stations was LOADED with people..shoulder to shoulder everywhere we walked.  At times Nicole hung onto my shirt to stay with me but if we slowed down or stopped we'd be swallowed by the crowd. 

We headed down the stairs and I immediately began looking everywhere for clues to which train would be the right one for us...this is where all of those years of my dad telling me to "Pay attention" paid off.  He did a great job of teaching me how to figure things out.  I remember the times we would travel to Chicago and get lost on the El and he would always talk me through how he was finding his way...he did the same when we got lost driving too. Anyway, when we got to the trains I looked, and of course everything is in Chinese, but I figured there had to be some context clues somewhere.  Anyway, I looked above the trains and saw the path the trains were taking and figured which one I needed to make the transfer from the Yellow to the Red.  It was one stop away....when we got out, finding the correct Red Line train was another story...the signs were not just for the Red Line, but there appeared to be an A, B, C, D, and E Red Line as well, or something to that effect because all I saw was Chinese and then the letters,. who knew what they were saying....AAAHHHHH.  So I just kept walking...didn't turn, just followed the  path and figured I would run into a train eventually.  To make a short story long, again, we made it to the station we needed but there were two different exits...and I have to give credit to Nicole for finding the map on the wall and discovering that we needed exit A...and it worked.  So, we weren't lost in China, but it was a bit uneasy for awhile.  Thanks dad for teaching me to pay attention, to think with common sense, and to stay rational and to always show confidence no matter how unsure you might be....it was fun but I gotta tell you I wasn't completely sure that we did the right thing until I saw the hotel. 

Day ended very well with exercise and my favorite Chinese restaurant....Pizza Hut!  The pepperoni pizza tasted so good!  And then Bo puked on me, again...darn teething.

Good night to all (still weird to think it good morning where you are).  Tomorrow we do our work with the American Consulate and at some point we have to swear an oath, not sure what that is all about...anyway, an important day but one I think we can get through OK.  In between we do some shopping at a Jade and Pearl market and we might eat dinner on a riverboat cruise tomorrow night, if we feel up to it.

God, thank you for restoring Nicole's health and for keeping me healthy.  Help Bo to get rid of her little aches and pains quickly.  Be with the people of China and I pray that there will be salvation brought to the great people of this country. Work in a mighty way in and around these people, and their government.  Get us home. Comfort our friends who hurt and our boys who miss their parents.